Let’s face it. The singles game is trash. There are no good prospects that are 100% available anymore.
Quarantine heightened people’s need to be cuddled. Everyone who was single during this time treated
their phones like bae. Slept with it, talked to it, kept it safe, held it in their arms and purchased new things
for it. Clubhouse only accelerated that. Like Ari Lennox said, “all the furniture you get is not gonna keep
you warm at night”. Prior to the pandemic, there was a surge in online dating. My experience on these
sites vary depending on what specific app you use. Most of the time you are sifting through messages
trying to gage if this person wants to date you or have a one night stand. I can only speak on behalf of the
women’s standpoint so here’s some notes from my research.
Now you can always tell a person’s intent by their bio. The well-traveled-airplane emoji type usually does
not give great conversation. They only talk to you because they want to brag to someone about the places
they’ve been. The responses that turn them on the most is “Oh wow!” “How is it out there?” “I’ve never
been there before”. If they’re cute enough for you to deal with, use those responses to stroke their ego.
Unfortunately, that may lead to a rushed sexual encounter by the travel man. The thought of putting you
on “game” is what they use as an aphrodisiac. However, if you are willing to push through that initial part
you may find someone who is interesting, and possesses worldly cultural knowledge. The flipside to that
is a cocky a**hole who thinks they can f*ck based on their passport. You have to use strong discernment.
The most ironic bio is the “don’t hit me up if you’re boring”. 95% of the time, they can not hold
conversation. I’ve been trapped by these scenarios a couple of times, and ended up being perceived as
“thirsty”. No. I am a very forward person who likes to hold conversation on various subjects with people I
am interested in. The men with these slogans in their bios usually are asking you to do most of the work.
Unless, you send them nudes. Then I guess you’ll be considered more exciting.
Any bio with the demon emoji is clear as day. They are there to have a raunchy good time. I appreciate
these bios the most because I don’t have to read between the lines to figure them out. They’re inbox
approach is very forward and can intimidate a woman who is not as sexually transparent. For example, I
was having the smallest of talks with a young man. He responded that he missed me. Confused, I asked
“Why do you miss me?” He responded, “Sex”. This was more hilarious than disrespectful. Another
trigger phrase is “good vibes only”. It’s like a clause in a contract without enough definition to have a
concrete answer. What is their interpretation of a “good vibe” ? This is why it is important to know
exactly what you want when you go on these sites. Don’t let the desperation lead you to a quick
opportunity for validation.
Bios with the job title are always safe, depending on the title. I enjoy a hard worker in a field I have no
clue about. It makes me feel like we’re going to have a fun conversation. If you are an entrepreneur, and
they have a steady 9-5 in a solid career field, be prepared to possibly be judged. I’m not sure if it’s
because they fear being leeched off of, but there is a certain tone change when you are in that dynamic.
Not all the time but definitely something to look out for and not take personal. Some of these titles are
freestyled like resumes. Gotta love a creative. My favorite bios have weird or clever jokes in them. A
handsome stranger once said in his bio, “I’m prettier in the mirror”. It’s the quick catchy phrases for me.
You have to find the words that make you want to swipe. Next time, we’ll discuss inbox aesthetics.
-Cee Flame
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